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far, far away

Posted on Jun 14, 2012 | 0 comments

The unshed tears sting my eyes.
I’m not sure what to say. It isn’t you who’s made me so sad or unhappy…Life has provided bombardment enough for that. Over and over again, the bombs drop and I’m desperate for a reprieve.

I’m not sure that you’ve ever seen this side of me. It’s a far cry from the easy smiles and bubbly exterior. I could tell that you were processing this newness, even as you were doing your best to comfort me. Even in my distress, I could appreciate your effort…you flip-flopped like a landed fish, from sweet and strong ready and willing to cradle me in your arms to chummy and sarcastic, your natural state of being. I know that you were trying to offer the expression “chin up” through out actions…but when I’m stuck in those dark places…even though I’m never far gone enough to be unappreciative of your concern and interaction…what I really need is time. Time is understand within myself what the answer is and who really holds my outcome.

I hope this helps. I hope this offers some kind of explanation. I wanted to try and explain, because I love you – and although you may not have felt it last night – I know that I was far, far away – I do.

 

Written by J. B. in June 2012

 

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