isn’t enough

I continue to hope. I hope that one day you will finally choose what’s best for your life – even when it means sacrifice and selflessness – so that you can prosper.

And because I continue to hope, I am easily disappointed when time-after-time I see you make decisions that fulfill your here-and-now wants and desires.

I want so much more for you.

I wanted me for you — but there’s only so much disappointment my heart can stomach. I had hoped to inspire you towards more. You are my family and so, I wanted the moon and stars and universe for you – but those kinds of treasures cannot be obtained by another on your behalf — you have to believe them, to want them, to pursue them for yourself.

You wanted me.
But to want me means being active.
And that’s not something you can stomach.

And so we share an eternal disappointment looking at each other from across an impassable chasm.

I love you, but that isn’t enough to cross this divide.

Written by J. B. in June 2012